Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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