Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
