dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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