i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
