Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
