I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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