if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
