no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We were destined to go to rehab together
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
