I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
