you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
