He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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