your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
