I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
