that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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