the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
