My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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