i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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