margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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