Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
