I bet he comes in French.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
