I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
