ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
