I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
