My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
