This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
