hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
