Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
