I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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