.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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