So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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