as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
