he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
