Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
