Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize