Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
