it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
