Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
