I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Randomize
