youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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