my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
