just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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