I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize