I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
