You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
