Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
