Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
