He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
