D3 body, D1 cock
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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