He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize