Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
