my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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