Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
