woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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