The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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