We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
