I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
