Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize