I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We left the knife in your bed.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I did not marry a roomba.
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