We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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