so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
