I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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