so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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