I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
