It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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