dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
