Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
